I’m Canadian. I was born in Montreal, spent time living in Calgary, and now reside in Toronto. My first language is English, which I speak with a weird fusion of Montreal and Calgarian accents. I’m white. I don’t “look Jewish”.
But I am.
I went to Hebrew school until the end of grade 9, when I entered the public school system. The public high school I went to was in a neighbourhood that had a high density of Jewish families, so even though I was no longer in Hebrew school, there were still plenty of Jewish kids around, though we were not the majority at the school. My friend group in high school was about 50% Jewish. We were all very close. It was a good time. We shared holidays. We experienced teenage angst. We learned to drive and we learned to derive (calculus joke – not sorry). We would not have said we were “tolerant” of each other. That would have made no sense to us. We were friends. We enjoyed our friendships. We enjoyed sharing our experience. I didn’t know how rare that was for a Jew in the diaspora because it’s all I had known. Then I went to university.
I studied mathematics at The University of Waterloo. It was, and still is, a great program. A lot of my Jewish friends chose to go to universities based on the Jewish population there, but I did not. Waterloo had the best math program, and math was my thing, so that’s where I went. Waterloo had almost no Jewish students. In all my time there I only met 3 others. And in my specific program, the Math Teaching Option, I was the only one. It didn’t bother me. I made a lot of great friends. I actually thought it was cool to experience a world outside the Jewish bubble I’d grown up in. It felt more real, because it was.
For better and for worse.
This was the first time in my life I would hold the designation “the Jewish person I know” in the eyes of many of my friends and acquaintances. Definitely not the last though. As a Jew living in Canada, you learn that’s very often what you are. You become the representative for an entire religion which has many sects, exists in many cultures, and has that country in the middle east that is in trouble all the time. People don’t generally discover that I’m Jewish right away because my Judaism is not discernible by my looks, demeanour, or dress, and I don’t lead with my name and religion anymore than anyone else does. But once they do find out, the questions start. Here are some of the questions I’ve been asked. I know you are going to think some of these are not true. I assure you they are.
“Is it true Jews love money?”
“So what’s the whole story of Israel and the Palestinians anyway? Why don’t they want peace?”
“Your nose looks normal. Did you have a nose job?”
“Do Jews really have horns and a tail? Do you shave your horns down?”
“Do Jews really use Christian blood to make the bread they eat on Passover?”
Crazy, right? But you get used to it. Sometimes I answer patiently. Sometimes I play it off as a joke. Sometimes I use sarcasm. It depends on who is asking and how I am feeling. But of all the questions I’ve been asked, the one that I always think of first when this comes up, and the one whose answer I’ve thought about most often, came from a fellow student in the Teaching Option at Waterloo. I think she was waiting for a moment when she could ask the burning question she was trying to wrap her head around. We were at a barbecue with a large group, and found ourselves sitting next to each other. She looked at me with a kind of confused wonder and asked
“So how does it feel to be Jewish? Like, to not have the love of Christ in your heart? That must feel so weird.”
I was struck right away with the understanding that to her, I was an alien. More than that, that I was an alien who knew it and knew what it would be like to be a native, was choosing not to be, and could therefore explain how it “felt” to not be something I had never experienced being. We had both grown up in Canada. We both spoke the same language and were both interested in becoming high school math teachers. We took the same classes and had occasionally worked together on the same assignments. My perspective to that moment had been that we were peers. It shifted immediately when I realized what her perspective was.
My answer at the time was to play it as a joke. I said something like “Feels amazing. Like a party in your head that never stops.”
But I wish I could go back in time and answer her properly. Here’s what I’d say.
When you’re young, it feels beautiful. You learn songs and prayers that children all over the world are learning. Every Friday night you have dinner with your extended family at your grandparents house and the food is amazing and there is so much love.
When you get a little older, you learn that there are a lot of people who will assume you’re Christian and wish you a Merry Christmas, and you should say “Thanks! Merry Christmas to you too!”
When you get a little older still, you learn that there are times when you should deliberately hide your Judaism, because even though we are proud Jews, you don’t have to advertise. You also develop an instinct for when to hide it. It’s a gut feeling. Sometimes you get it wrong though, and then you get blindsided by a visceral hate you can barely comprehend. The day I got beaten up by two kids who wanted to see my tail is a particularly painful example. I had zero clue what they were talking about. I didn’t know there were people who believed Jews had horns and a tail. I was so bewildered and scared, that if I could have shown them a tail to make them stop, I likely would have. I was 12 years old. I never told anyone.
As you get older you begin to understand that there is a significant segment of the world population that hates you. They never met you, but they hate you. They hate you so much they want to kill you. They believe once Jews are dead their problems will go away. You learn about the holocaust. You learn that’s why your uncle never talks and has a number tattooed on his arm. You learn that’s why your father has no cousins, and so you have no second cousins on your father’s side. Because even though his father was one of ten children, he was the only survivor of Hitler’s drive to exterminate Jews. You learn that during the holocaust, most non-Jews did nothing to protect their Jewish neighbours, and often betrayed them. You learn that during the holocaust, nations denied Jewish refugees entry. You learn that Canada was one of those nations. You learn that it’s history, but a history that we should never forget.
Then you learn that there are organizations whose charter it is to kill all Jews. And although they are in the Middle East, you learn that they have visible support in this endeavour all over North America. You learn to live with the low thrum of fear that someone will target you, or an institution you frequent, because of this hatred of Jews. You see it happen regularly. You learn that over the last few years in Canada, religiously motivated hate crimes have declined overall, but hate crimes against Jews have been increasing. According to Statistics Canada, they have increased by 52% since 2020.
Suddenly being the “only Jew someone knows” becomes complicated. You have a responsibility to represent all Jews. To explain Israel. To show that we’re human. I’ll say that one again: In interactions where you are the only Jew, you consciously make efforts to demonstrate that you – and by extension all Jews – are human. It’s a heavy responsibility. But you take it on. You have no choice. It’s literally about survival.
Then one day, in 2023, over 1400 Jews are massacred in a single day. Babies are murdered in front of parents. Parents are murdered in front of children. Families are burned. Woman are gang-raped and taken prisoner. It is all filmed by the people doing it so that they can share their victory with the world on social media and news sites. And in the days that follow, you watch people celebrating that it happened. You see further calls for death to Jews. You see this in Canada. Friends tell you to be balanced. Celebrities cheer the murderers. Elected politicians in North America call an event during which a terrorist is filmed cutting a Jewish child out of its mother’s womb, thus killing them both, a heroic act of resistance.
And next, the world starts accusing Jews of genocide.
That’s how it feels to be Jewish. I wish I’d told her. Though I doubt she’d have understood.
Experience Has Made Me Rich 
Thank you for writing and posting this beautiful story. It helps me to understand my fears and anxieties.
You’re mistaken. It’s NOT a “beautiful story!”
It isn’t . It’s very well written, though.
You are right, Bella, it is NOT A BEAUTIFUL STORY…😡😢😢
I have to disagree with you. It is a beautiful story because it parallels a lot of my up bringing too. Until I was 14 years old and we moved from our mostly Jewish neighborhood to some where else and I was a minority. I was told I killed Christ. That was when I didn’t identify or volunteer my religion. Later We moved to a neighborhood that was more inclusive and I felt more comfortable. I was able to be me again and raise my family accordingly too. I never felt I had to hide or deny my religion. Not even now.
It’s not a beautiful story. My experience was different. I grew up in the North End of Winnipeg.
My first encounter with antisemitism was provided by another6-year old. Later on I learned the word “K..ke”.
Mixed neighbourhood (Jewish, Ukrainian, German), but for some reason I only had Jewish friends (my best friend Joey’s mother was Jewish and his father was Ukrainian but fluent in Yiddish). I once asked my dad why he didn’t send me to a parochial Jewish school and hi answered that we lived in a Gentile world.
Most of my dad’s family came to Canada before the war. My grandmother and my dad we the last and left Poland in 1930. My aunt, uncle and 4 cousins remained in Galicia. My uncles here and my dad tries to get their sister and family to Canada and were told to their face that the country already had enough Jews.
My uncle was one of 2,000 shot on the 1st day of Passover 1942. My aunt and cousins were placed on the last transport from their town (making it Judenrein) on October 28, 1942. two cousins escaped the train minutes before its arrival at the Belzec extermination camp and survived the war. My aunt, on her 40th birthday, and two cousins age 12 & 14 didn’t, and joined the hundreds of thousands of Jews that were “processed” by that efficient death factory.
There’s an old Dry Bones satirical cartoon: “Antisemitism isn’t increasing. Its just that the Nazis made it unpopular.” We now know that the words “for a while” should be added.
I cant seem to post outside of a reply, so sorry Phyliss, but I wanted to repay a couple of experiences I have had that were quite different from RIch Dlin. Once, in Kashmire, a man, who was frustrated with me because I was not interested in purchasing a tour from him, said to me, in frustration, “You are a Jew, I am a Muslim- we have the same prophet.!” ( I never really understood but….I liked that) I also had a ranch for many yeaers in a small town in Mississippi and attended Sunday meetings with a group of so to say, religious or spritual misfits ….During this time my mother passed. I spoke to the small congregation ( we sat in a circle) , about sitting Shiva. One woman , prob raised Christain) was moved to tears, because she said, after her mother died, she went back to work the next day. And how much she regretted that, and felt so drawn t this intrisict Jewish ritual. At times, people, in Mississippi. upon hearing I was Jewish, repllied, “well, you are the chosen people.” Heres a great story. A rodeo fried of mind told me about 2 Jewish boys that grew up the this small Mississippi town, who were practising rodeo, but when they were not riding in the ring , they were sitting in the bleachers studying their books. Of courses, I also heard that I never washed, and there was a Jew Hollar down the road.
“Same prophet” Moses/Musa appears in and is revered in the Koran
Thank you for this story and we need to hear more of these stories. My heritage is Jewish and I have an immense love and respect for the Jewish community. Praying for Israel
I am not Jewish but my best friend is. I can’t imagine asking her the type of questions you described but I do believe there are ignorant and just plain stupid people out there who do hold some pretty bizarre ideologies. I wish I had the answers. I want to understand but I don’t know what is appropriate to ask.
I do know that what has happened in Israel over the past few weeks is horrendous. How can Hamas claim to love God while committing these unspeakable acts of violence against Jews?
There is nothing I wouldn’t do for my friend, not because she is Jewish but because she is a loving, kind, smart, generous, sometimes pretty funny woman. We have worked together, travelled together, shared a room together and now are both retired. In all the years I have known her, never once have I thought of her as my”Jewish friend”. She is my best friend period.
I don’t know what else to say except “thank you for sharing your experience and perspective”. I pray that this senseless war will end soon.
Wishing you peace, love and harmony.
It’s appropriate to ask the questions that aren’t ridiculous. You seem intelligent enough to know that no, we don’t have horns or a tail, we are human beings like you are. We have the same emotions, senses, bones, skin, organs, etc as all other human beings. We are human, like everyone else.
In the 60s my brother was on assignment in Texas (we’re from the east coast). The people he met were shocked to learn he was Jewish. They indeed believed that Jews had horns. I’m lucky that I never experienced discrimination or anti semitism. In fact my second husband is not Jewish. His entire family embraced me and have always respected me. What more can I ask for.
Thank you for your kind perspective.
Thank you, Helen. I am Jewish and it was heart warming to read your note. You are an inspiration!
Last week someone asked me who Jews prayed to? Allah? Jesus? Some other God?
The lack of knowledge and understanding is our greatest enemy.
Hate is our greatest enemy that starts in the home by parents that are prejudice. It festers like a cancer. It’s sad. Babies are born with a clean slate. Their classroom begins at home.
With all due respect, willful ignorance is our greatest enemy.
Yashar couagh. I was at Waterloo Lutheran 1963 to 66 the Western to 69. I went through the same questions and beliefs. Then I went to work on Bay St. Same same. You had to live it to understand the feelings.
Resonates.
I am a proud Jewish women who has had many of these things happen. I was sheltered as a child by my parents to protect me from people like you have mentioned. I was denied a position because I was Jewish, taunted by co-workers, and asked “where were my horns.” When I married and had children, my husband and I were determined not to have this happen to our daughters. They were educated at a Jewish day school and we tried to instill in them to be strong in this world that constantly berates us. I think that we succeeded. It still remains, antisemitism, and I deal with it today.
Such a finely written portrait of a Jew. Great piece, and the closing, ah, that landed at a perfectly crafted microcosm of the history of our people.
First time I’ve read your column and have two comments/questions revolving around the same idea.
You refer to yourself as white and Jews as members if a religion. I don’t know of any religions that have countries; nations and peoples do, and Israel was created to be the national homeland of the Jewish People because we believe we originated from and are indigenous to that area regardless of skin colour or appearance. This is the origin of the Semitic identity
This leads to a related second point. The struggle with the Palestinians is national in nature: two peoples fighting over the same piece of land. Most don’t hate Jews because of our religion, but because they believe the Jewish state stole their homes and their country. The Hamas butchers didn’t ask the religion of those they murdered. To their warped mentality, they killed those who lived in stolen homes built on stolen Palestinian land. Jews lived with Muslims and Arabs for millennia with less than one millionth the trouble we had in Christian Europe.
I appreciate your comments. As for whether or not religions have countries, I encourage you to look up the official names of Iran, Pakistan, Afghanistan, and Mauritania, to name a few, or to consider what Vatican City is all about. But regardless of that, “country” is a geopolitical designation, notwithstanding any ties to a religion or any people who would be drawn there as a homeland, and 21% of Israeli citizens are Arabs, and not Jewish. Whatever that may or may not imply.
Regarding your second point, I think it’s a little narrow-focused, historically. Hatred for Jews goes back all the way to biblical times, and pops up repeatedly across many cultures and political divides. Ebbs and flows of acceptance and rejection show up in all cultures. The perspective that Hamas hates Israelis, not Jews, is insidious because it demonstrates that their propaganda works. I suggest to any who believe that to be true to read their charter. Read both versions – the 1988 one and the 2017 one to see how the wording was changed to disguise some of the more blatant articles, but specifically, read article 7 in the 1988 charter. I am not stating a position in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. This conflict is not what I am discussing here. I am talking about the very real existence of large groups of people who actually believe that killing jews is the path to a better world. The modern excuse of “I am not antisemitic, just anti-Zionist” may be true for some, but not all, and the ones for whom it is true are sadly justifying the violence against Jews – not Israelis – worldwide. Immediately following the terrorist massacre on Oct. 7, those who felt the need to stand up and proclaim their anti-Zionism may have paused to reflect on the timing of the message.
Dear Rich, please accept my love and compassion, for you and all Jewish ppl. I am not that familiar with Western or middle eastern cultures, and had to look up the meaning of words like “pogrom” after the current events started unfolding – simply unbelievable. So sorry you have to go through all this BS in a civilized world. In the past, I have asked many ppl why jews are hated so much, but could never find an answer. Since you mentioned all those countries as being “Islamic Republic of . . .”, do look up India also. I do not think that any Jew or for that matter a person from any religion has been persecuted there on the basis of religion in the past 5,000 years. India has always been a sanctuary for Jews, whether fleeing from Iran, Pakistan, Portugal, Spain or any other region. They could thrive, build their synagogues to pray and carry on with their lives and businesses. Point is, not every non-Jew you come across is a Jew-hater. I wish you and your people well.
It’s not a beautiful story. My experience was different. I grew up in the North End of Winnipeg.
My first encounter with antisemitism was provided by another6-year old. Later on I learned the word “K..ke”.
Mixed neighbourhood (Jewish, Ukrainian, German), but for some reason I only had Jewish friends (my best friend Joey’s mother was Jewish and his father was Ukrainian but fluent in Yiddish). I once asked my dad why he didn’t send me to a parochial Jewish school and hi answered that we lived in a Gentile world.
Most of my dad’s family came to Canada before the war. My grandmother and my dad we the last and left Poland in 1930. My aunt, uncle and 4 cousins remained in Galicia. My uncles here and my dad tries to get their sister and family to Canada and were told to their face that the country already had enough Jews.
My uncle was one of 2,000 shot on the 1st day of Passover 1942. My aunt and cousins were placed on the last transport from their town (making it Judenrein) on October 28, 1942. two cousins escaped the train minutes before its arrival at the Belzec extermination camp and survived the war. My aunt, on her 40th birthday, and two cousins age 12 & 14 didn’t, and joined the hundreds of thousands of Jews that were “processed” by that efficient death factory.
There’s an old Dry Bones satirical cartoon: “Antisemitism isn’t increasing. Its just that the Nazis made it unpopular.” We now know that the words “for a while” should be added.
I’m sorry but Hamas called the Jewish people a disease that needed to be exterminated. That has nothing to do with land and homes. That is Hate. The Palestinian people will never have anything as long as they are led by extremists Their people need to overthrow Hamas and then maybe even the Egyptians would allow them to have some of their own land in Egypt or other neighboring countries. Nobody wants the Hamas led Palestinians in their country. Nobody.
Yes…agreed. Why is it the Palestinians do not stand up to Hamas … never could understand this
So you’ve obviously never heard of dhimmi status or some of the pogroms carried out against Jews in Arab lands. I suggest you look them up.
Except that Hamas has made it clear for decades that its goal is not only to destroy Israel, but to kill all Jews. Those savage, inhuman terrorists meant to kill Jews. Believe me.
The PLO existed before the creation of the modern state of Israel. The battle of the Palestinians is not over the land – its over the Jews, who should not exist. Jordan comprises 70% of the lands that were previously called Palestine under the British mandate. Why don’t they want that land back?
The PLO was founded in the late 1950s, I believe 1959, by Yasser Arafat. It did not exist before the State of Israel was founded. You may be confusing different terms. “PLO” stands for the Palestine Liberation Organization.
No it didn’t. The State of Israel was established in 1948 and the PLO wasn’t founded until 1964. Also, do you actually believe that the Jews shouldn’t exist? What do you mean by that?
I believe the commenter was saying that the battle is over the fact that one side believes that Jews should not exist. I didn’t read it as them believing that themselves.
I challenge your major points. The millennia of peace for Jews under Muslim rule is a myth, completely contradicted by the historical, and repeated by apologists for continuous discrimination and periodic violence and prosecution.
The ongoing murder of Jews in Turkish Palestine evolved into increasingly organized violence and atrocities based on religion, later aligned with Nazi Germany.
IMO, land was only ever the excuse. It is simply anathema that a land once ruled by Islam ever be lost to Islam. The idea is Muslims living under Jewish rule is just not tolerable.
Jewishness is not just a religion – it is an ethnicity. When I took an ancestry dna test it shows I am 50% European Jewish. Israel has a wide multitude of religious and a religious Jews. It is true that Hamas will kill anyone in their way, but their first step is the Jews.
How many Muslims were there living in the area of Palestine before the year 600 a.d.?
Food for thought.
Sorry but Jews are not Semites. There are no people that are Semites. There are people that that speak languages that are in the Semitic family. Hebrew is one of many.
Jews did live with Arabs. We were always considered dhimmies, second class citizens or worse. Certain periods saw more coexistence and certain periods less. But there have always been pogroms. After all, Mohammed and his followers killed, expelled or converted by force the Jews of Arabia in the Earle days of Islam.
My mother taught at a local university. She spoke up to a man who was making anti-semitic comments. His reply: I’m sorry Mrs. Z, but you’re incorrect. My statements are not anti-semitic. I’m Armenian. I’m a semite. I’m just anti-Jewish.
I was also told (50 years ago at work,) that I don’t look Jewish. My reply was to ask who looks Jewish? Arabs? Sicilians? More recently, while singing services at a hotel in the “borscht belt” in NY, I was told – by a congregant – that I didn’t look Jewish, and the Irish tenor who stood behind me certainly wasn’t. I responded that 1- that tenor’s parents would be upset for having spent the money for his Bar Mitzvah, which I attended, and 2- he should go to Israel and then tell me who “looks” Jewish. That’s a form of anti-semitism, or if you prefer, anti-Jewishness, from a Jewish man.
Of course, he missed the Baptist minister who was a tenor soloist,
and the Armenian alto soloist, because they were both darker.
Please listen to this about the alleged “stolen Palestinian land.”
You are welcome to disagree, but make it fact-based.
Read the replies. From your name you should be aware of all the facts in the responses. It is assumed that the 3 main religions pray to the same God; at least the Muslims accept that ( Quran) .Now read our Bible where that same God states that he has given this land( some of which you say is stolen but isnt) to the Jewish people. Their non acceptance is a total disregard of what their ( our God)God says and as a result you must understand that this is in fact a religious war, NOT a national war, which these barbarians have to lose. Funny that notoneMuslim country is preaching toakw in any Palestinian refugees….wonder why?
Maybe these verses of the Koran can enlighten you… “And He brought down those of the People of the Book who supported them from their fortresses and cast terror in their hearts; some you slew, some you made captive. And He bequeathed upon you their lands, their habitations, and their possessions, and a land YOU NEVER TROD. God is powerful over everything. (33:26)”
I am a Canadian historian and journalist, and a Jew, from New York.
This is a brilliant piece.
My hat is off to the writer.
More importantly, it is essential reading.
This is a brilliant article, encompassing so many hurdles that one as a Jew needs to negotiate, because they are singled for their religion/identity.
My favorite is when someone finds out that I’m Jewish, they start relating to me how many other Jews they know.
Interesting article. This is actually one of the typical microaggressions against black people in Canada. How often do we hear ” Oh some of my best friends are black” or ” Oh I have a black friend”. Difference is that Jews are not a visible minority.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I believe that every Jew has encountered at least some of what you relate. It is impossible to truly convey what it feels like to someone who has never experienced that kind of hatred, ignorance, or the feeling of isolation that come with being part of a small, despised and misunderstood minority.
This Jewish boy shares many of the characteristics of the author. In grade school and high school the majority ( but not all) of my friends were Jewish.
After graduation I enrolled at Loyola College in Montreal. Suddenly most of my new friends were not Jewish.
Like the author, I had no obvious discernible ‘Jewish traits.’
When we discussed politics, they sympathized with tiny Israel although not as fervently as myself whose parents were survivors of the holocaust.
People I became friendly with eventually discovered that I was Jewish. I did not keep it a secret. No one ever asked me if had a tail or if I loved money.
Much the same in my business life. I rarely came across blatant anti Semitism. Most of the rare negatively I encountered was parroted ignorance. A barber once warned me to count my fingers after I shake hands with a Jew. I paid him for his services, shook his hand and warned him to count his fingers. I found a new barber after that incident and when I passed him on the street ignored his greetings.
But my barber was an anomaly in my life. To this day I don’t believe he suddenly hated me when he discovered that I was a member of the tribe. His attempt to greet me after the incident underscores my belief that he is simply ignorant and not a hard core bigot.
I have been told “You don’t look Jewish, and you don’t act Jewish”. I was asked once “ were you actually born that way?” Once I was voting and I asked if I could borrow a woman’s sample ballot for a minute. She said to me “Sure, but don’t vote for the Jews.” She explained to me (when I played stupid) that all Jewish men are doctors and lawyers and are all directly linked to the Treasury. I told her that was news to me, as being Jewish myself, we had nobody like that in our family. She was shocked, and said something about my not looking Jewish. Last year at a Senior Center where I teach fitness, a woman who at the time worked at the front desk took it upon herself to remind me that “you did kill, Jesus, you know”. Ignorance…pitiful.
When I hear that I tell them, no the Jews did not kill Jesus, The Italians did. They are shocked and say WHAT?? I respond, if you know your Bible you know it was the Romans who crucified Jesus, not the Jews. The Romans were Italian.
Wow this is so powerful
I too share these sentiments and posted this earlier today
Size 10
Walking in someone’s shoes is often the best way to truly understand their experiences in life. It is these experiences which create and/or influence our beliefs. Furthermore, it gives insight into the nuances of their life, the pride they carry, and the challenges they face. So, step into my Size 10 shoes, and I’ll take you on a journey – a personal chronicle of my life as a proud Jew.
Every culture and religion imparts its own set of unique experiences. For me, my Jewish heritage weaves a colorful story which tells the story of generations. It’s in the Yom Kippur fasts, the radiant glow of the Hanukkah menorah, the amazing sounds of the shofar on Rosh Hashanah. It’s a story of tradition, values, and identity – I’m a Jew!
Picture a young boy in the heart of Texas, proudly sporting a New York Jets outfit in a sea of Dallas Cowboys fans (I’m a huge Cowboy fan but the Jets were more popular back then). That was me. Like yours, my childhood was pure in its innocence, where differences were celebrated rather than ostracized. However, as time progressed, the weight of being different grew heavier.
A bitter memory still lingers from my middle school years when I vied for the position of student council class president. Swastikas painted on my house and death threats were my initiation into the brutal world of anti-Semitism. It was a wake-up call, one that made me question my identity but not give up on it.
Fast forward, and it’s a grim realization that anti-Semitism is far from extinct. When prejudice confronted my daughter at a school and my son was marginalized on a sports team, it was clear that even as the world preached inclusivity, the shadows of intolerance loomed large – very large. The strife in the Middle East only adds fuel to these smoldering fires of prejudice. They existed, but were not omnipresent. Yet, when Israel defends itself – hate becomes commonplace and gas is thrown on these lingering fires.
Yet, being Jewish is not just a story of challenges, it’s a testament to resilience and strength. Through economic ups and downs, over the last 40+ years, my father’s unwavering commitment to charity was embodied by the deep-rooted values of our faith. We evolved, and continued to give back to our communities and to Israel.
The legacy of the Jewish people is not one solely of persecution but of perseverance. Our identity, carved by both adversity and triumph, drives Jews to excel. A lesson which has been a cornerstone in my family is the value of integrity which is an undying commitment to truth and righteousness. My life’s compass, and that of Susan and our kids as well, is deeply rooted in our Jewish heritage, and has always pointed towards it. Integrity is the one thing no one can take from us and the one thing we have 100% control over.
As age begins to play its tricks with more medications, occasional memory lapses, etc… my Jewish identity remains a steadfast anchor. It is the heartbeat of my existence, dictating my values, shaping my world view, and becoming my daily resolve. It’s what binds my family together, creating an unbreakable bond.
In the events which make up life, being Jewish presents its own set of challenges and joys. And in the face of all adversity, I’m not one to take a back seat as never letting this happen again is NOW. So to be clear, I stand with Israel, and I vehemently oppose anti-Semitism. Now, as I retrieve my shoes, I know this – this Texan is on a mission, a mission to drive change, one person at a time, one day at a time. By the way, I don’t like to walk alone; thus, feel free to grab a pair of shoes and let’s walk together and change the world.
It’s going to be a long walk as we have a lot of work to do to create peace in this world.
Thank you!
I wish I had the words to say how spot on your words are. It’s the story of my life except no one was ever interested enough to ask me how it feels to be Jewish. If anyone asked what it was like the first time I heard an antisemitic slur, however, I could relay where I was, who said it, what was said , and how it made me feel, 62 years later.
Beautifully said. Thank you!
Thank you. I’m a Jewish American, born in Brooklyn. I grew up in a Catholic neighborhood and as a child I wanted to be Christian too, because it seemed that they had all the fun — over-decorating their houses on Christmas, dressing up on Easter. I had to grow up to understand, and to feel as you feel. Today I’m proud to be Jewish.
As a fellow Jew from Montreal who has also experienced anti-semitism in Canada, I disagree with this post on a lot of fronts. But mostly, given your math background, you should have been more careful with the stats you cite. Yes, according to Statistics Canada, hate crimes against Jews are up 52% since 2020, and that absolutely is alarming. However, it’s not true that they’re down in that same time period for others. Hate crimes against Muslims are up 29% since 2020, and they’re even up 21% against Catholics. https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/daily-quotidien/230727/t006b-eng.htm
And this is a big problem with the way some choose to frame the issue. The fact that Jews have historically been oppressed and continue to face anti-semitism doesn’t mean we can’t also be the oppressors in some situations, notably in Gaza and the West Bank. The deaths of 1400 Jews, though appalling and horrific, do not justify the deaths of 7000 Palestinians and counting (including 3000 children). And the constant invocation of the Holocaust is a cynical and disrespectful use of the memory of those who perished.
Personally, I choose to side with the many Jews worldwide who are joining peace marches and calling for a ceasefire, who are saying “never again” is for anyone. Because that’s how it feels to be Jewish, too.
Thanks for your comment. That link you provided does not refute anything I said though, although perhaps you misread my wording. I said “You learn that over the last few years in Canada, religiously motivated hate crimes have declined overall, but hate crimes against Jews have been increasing.” The data at the link you provided shows exactly that. Religiously motivated hate crimes were decreased from 2021 to 2022 by 15%. As for your calculations regarding Muslims and Catholics, you seem to have conveniently left out the fact that they both experienced a drastic drop from 2021 to 2022 (down 24% and 61%, respectively), while there is only a steady increase in the hate crimes against Jews across the table. But perhaps most telling are the raw totals, which you used for your calculation but neglected to reflect on in your response.
Notice that the raw totals for hate crimes against Jews are significantly higher. This matters, because given my math background, I can tell you that small changes in small totals result in large percentage changes. For example, an increase of 5, from 10 to 15 is a 50% increase, but an increase of 5 from 100 to 105 is only a 5% increase. This paints the percentages you calculate in a different light entirely. Specifically, there were 84 reported hate crimes against Muslims in 2020, and 108 in 2022, an increase of 24 actual crimes. Meanwhile, the raw totals of crimes against Jews went from 331 to 502 in the same time frame, and increase of 171 actual crimes. The Catholic number you cite is actually humorous, mathematically, as it is a result of a raw increase from 43 to 52, for a total of 9. Given my math background, and considering how many Catholics there are in Canada, I can tell you that we call that “statistically insignificant”.
So the percentage changes are misleading. Perhaps I should have led with the raw numbers instead. See, a massive discrepancy in the raw totals could be explained if Jews represented a significantly larger portion of the population (given my math background, I understand this). In 2022, there were 502 reported hate crimes against Jews, out of a total of 750 for all religions. That’s 67%. Muslim hate crimes were 108 out of 750, which is 14.4%. The Catholic percentage is 7%: 52 out of 750. If these percentages matched the overall totals for each religion in Canada, there would be a level hate-playing field. They do not. In 2019, Jews made up 1.0% of Canadians, Muslims made up 3.7%, and Christians made up 63.2% (https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/pub/11-627-m/11-627-m2021079-eng.htm).
So 1% of the population is the target of 67% of reported hate crimes. Am I misrepresenting anything? And yes, the Muslim hate crimes are also out of proportion. This is not surprising at all, given that the majority of hate crimes will be perpetrated against people of a different religion, so it stands to reason that the majority religions will perpetrate against the minorities. But consider that there are 3.7 times as many Muslims as Jews in Canada, yet Jews are the victims of about 4.6 times as much hate crime as Muslims are.
I am actually always very careful with the statistics I cite. Are you?
As to claiming that the constant invocation of the holocaust is cynical and disrespectful use of the memory of “those who perished” (did you mean to say “murdered”?), I don’t know what to tell you. As a people, in living memory, we suffered a massive genocide as the world watched and did nothing. We are ever alert for signs it is happening again, and we see the signs everywhere, right now. I can’t speak for the people who were murdered (I’m not sure how you feel you can), but I can speak for the holocaust survivors in my own family, and they are an ever present and vocal reminder to me and others that we can not afford to relax our vigilance. For you to sweep aside the murder, gang-rape, beheading, burning, and worst of all in-the-moment celebrations of that as you steer the point to saying we should not talk about the holocaust is beyond disrespectful to the life they have lived. It also seems to completely miss my point that learning about the Holocaust, what led to it, how it managed to continue for as long as it did, is part of my experience growing up Jewish. To not mention it when talking about that experience would be a significant oversight indeed.
Regarding the death toll in Gaza, I can’t seem to find any source other than Hamas for the numbers of casualties in Gaza. That there have been casualties, I am certain. What the total is, less so. I find myself reluctant to believe the same people who gang-raped elderly woman so violently that they were found dead, with broken pelvises. The same people that accidentally dropped a bomb near their own hospital, but blamed Israel immediately. Perhaps you will forgive me if I am taking their claims with a mountain of salt. I also have yet to find evidence that the IDF has gone in and perpetrated/celebrated anything like what Hamas has done. The equivalency argument is so broken in this regard, and yet continues to be used. It’s mystifying.
As for peace, I am 100% with you. I would love nothing more than to finally know that Israelis and Palestinians no longer had to suffer. Israelis have publicly and repeatedly said that they want this. But where is your evidence that Hamas desires peace? Is peace what you think they desire? Will they be heartened by your march for peace, and release the hostages, and abstain from terror from now on? You would like a ceasefire. Me too. I want a permanent one. There was a ceasefire prior to Oct 7. Who broke it? How did they break it? Who do you suppose will break the next ceasefire? Who always breaks it? Where is your evidence that peace is on the table for Hamas? The only message Hamas has ever broadcast is that they have zero interest in peace and will never accept anything other than the total annihilation of Israel. They’re not ambiguous in this regard. It is embedded in their charter, which, by the way, I suggest you read, specifically Article 7 of their 1988 Charter. Do you see a desire for peace in this? Can you find a source anywhere that says that Hamas desires peace with Israel?
Your reply to the commenter was as good as the original article. Thank you.
Thank you for such a thorough response. Regarding the questionable sourcing on the 7000/3000 Palestinian deaths, I’d say he’s NOT careful with the statistics he cautions you to be careful with.
But before he responds and says well maybe it was 1,000 but it is still wrong, I’d like to point out that we don’t know if that is innocent civilians or targeted Hamas members. And Israel (who was responding to an attack on civilians) warned civilians to leave the area. They either refused (therefore supporting Hamas and risking their families) or were not allowed to leave by Hamas, or were forbidden entry into bordering Egypt. In all cases, this is sad but the wrong people are being blamed.
Rich you have written, a powerful
Piece and profile of Society in general
I have been profoundly disappointed on many occasions by remarks from people I called friends
I have to say that I am grateful for the people who have shown undying support for me and for my people it gives me hope
I appreciate your thoughtfulness and research. Shalom Sara.
One of the best replies I have ever read.
Rich, you are a blessing
Your concern for Palestinian civilian lives is of course laudable and “feels Jewish” to me as well. I also choose to disassociate myself (and I’m sure you do as well) from those Jews and those Jewish groups (e.g., Jewish Voice for Peace, IfNotNow) who endorse the lie that Israel is engaging in “genocide” in Gaza. Lies of this kind should be left to the anti-Semites, and not spouted by Jews.
Thank you this. As a NY Jew who lived in Iowa for four years, I completely understand. I never met anyone who was vicious or mean, but they just didn’t get it
Well said, Home Skillet.
This was an enlightening read. I grew up in a Hindu & Sikh family in Western Canada, I didn’t (and still don’t know) much about white culture, and could never truly understand what could drive people to negatively stereotype and discriminate against one religious group so much. Up until I read this, I had no idea that people believed and said things about Jewish people like this.
My family was displaced by the Partition of India, and as a result I am all too familiar with all the horrors that can occur as a result of sectarian religious extremism. It angers me that there are certain people who use this situation to further “justify” their deranged antisemitism or apocalyptic conspiracies.
I just read “Freedom at Midnight” by Collins and Lapierre. The horrors of the partition of India were certainly as awful as the things we see now in the Middle East. We can all hope religious extremism disappears. All our religions are about “peace and love,” but we still murder each other.
Beautifully said. I believe we were at CHS art the same time. I was a year ahead.
This is almost me except I didn’t grow up around a Jewish majority. I grew up in a farm town in the Midwest USA. My siblings and I were the only Jewish kids in school. We always had to “represent the Jewish community “, which was an impossible task. Luckily everyone in family has a strong Jewish identity and my parents made sure we had lots of Jewish community, not where we lived day to day., but joining a synagogue miles away , being in Jewish youth groups, celebrating Jewish events and lifestyle. I have so many of the same thoughts and feelings that you express. Thank you!
It is sad how accurate this all is. For me, it’s when someone realizes I am Jewish, or hears my very Jewish name, and their face changes. Their eyes shift, some with pity, some fear, some disgust. Then the conversation changes- either I hear another “I have a Jewish friend/neighbor/classmate” or “how can you not give your kids Christmas!”….but what is most heartbreaking is when your own kids hit that age that they truly get it; that every commercial, TV show, storefront, radio station, and more all celebrate Christmas and they don’t. The first time they realize they are “different”, and that is how the world sees them.
In the days since October 7th we have lived under a pall that I have not experienced in my lifetime. Thank you for writing this personal and insightful piece. I like you have grown up in a very peaceful and accepting society in Melbourne Australia. A very similar Jewish community to those of Montreal and Toronto.
I am a child of two Holocaust survivors who had virtually no extended family after they were slaughtered by Hitler – they indeed understood what a genocide is!
Your experience of growing up Jewish is so similar to mine. We were a secular fiercely traditionalist Yiddish family but like you I went to school looking the same as my gentlile friends and got the same inane questions around Christmas and the mostly naive chiding around money, and our role in Christ’s demise.
We also were part of the Jewish Labor Bund and dedicated ourselves to leftist causes to make a ‘besser un shenerer velt’ (better and more just world)
I like you. am exhausted by trying to convey my distress for victims of war but to also help explain and yes support our brand to the naive and ignorant. The left in particular, including labour unions, press, academics are leading an anti-Zionist chorus that simply invites antisemites to join in and sing out loud how evil we are and enthusiastically call Israel and world Jewry support a genocide on the Palestinians.
It is a sickening and hyperbolic accusation and the rational voices on the left are virtually non-existent!
When I became a new father some 32 years ago a colleague – an educated professional asked me how many gifts my daughter got for Christmas? When I replied none, Jews don’t do Christmas, the look and response of disbelief confirmed to me that we will always be folks to be treated with a degree of curiosity at best and deep loathing at worst.
That spectrum is again playing out across the globe. My question to the ignorant has increasingly been: “Why do you think there is only 16 million of us – less than 1% of the worlds population?”
I am frankly not sure how to frame my comment properly after reading this. As a veteran I understand more about what hamas is doing to Palestinian civilians and the need to remove them from the equation of any Two State Solution before that equation can be resolved, but as someone disabled with PTSD and TBI it is sometimes difficult to be as articulate as I would wish.
A few months ago I started expressing what I have seen during my lifetime, when anything anti-semitic came up or was the topic of discussion, with a statement that Jews have become the human species’ bellwethers -or, for those who don’t understand that idea, the canary in the coal mine, ie the ones who are those that first show there is something wrong or something changing fro the worse. Always take heed when hate against Jewish people rises, I explain, because it’s usually the first indication of a shift that will result in the rise of hate against others as well. This rather often ends putting me into a situation in which I need to bring up historical fact re Israel, and apparently I have done a good job of informing myself on that from one Jewish person’s comment along the lines that the vast majority of nonJews don’t know as much on the topic.
But it’s the subjective part of the current situation that is hardest to get across to people, and that is most worrisome in terms of understanding enough to get it right. I am…relieved?…in reading your piece here to know that I somehow managed to understand enough of it to do that fairly accurately. That is probably a good bit due to friends of mine who are Native Americans undertaking to educate me some years back, spending time on the rez, watching the response of some in nearby towns, etc. Some things are the same. Some things, once understood, become impossible not to notice when they happen re other groups of people. And while i can’t emotionally understand being part of generations that have had to deal with and/or flee hatred and experienced the ultimate in it within living memory, somehow enough connections were made that my attempts have been echoing what you wrote at the end of your piece. Some are listening, and asking questions about hamas, about the region’s history, about the propaganda they’ve read. I don’t and can’t understand the ones who prefer their narrative of hate, who tell me “it’s all the Jews’ fault this happened to them” about the attack.
The question I asked my Native American friends after I came to know more of how hate and prejudice affected their lives was how could a “lily-white person like myself” -my semi-humorous way of referring to the affect of my Irish ancestry on my appearance- BEST help dismantle structural racism against them. We were all sitting together discussing a prejudice related topic at that moment, and one simply said “Just speak up.” I glanced around and was surprised that EVERY head was nodding in agreement. I protested that was such a little thing. My friend waved that off instantly. “No. YOU know the truth. When they lie about us, just speak up with the truth.” I promised, but I still thought it was such a little thing.
More than a decade later, I know it;s not. It’s a huge thing. And it’s important to find out the truth and bring it up about other groups of people hate affects, when someone starts lying about that group.
Thanks for this piece. I learned some more from reading it. I will keep trying to educate people.
And whatever happens, I am one veteran who will not stop standing against hate.
Your Native American friends nailed it. “Just speak up.”
By the way, you are very articulate.
Thanks for your support.
Your Native American friends nailed it. “Just speak up.”
By the way, you are very articulate.
Thanks for your support.
Very well said.
I commend you for your courage, and honesty, it is so important for that courage to not be put out especially now. I am a converted secular Canadian Jew living in Israel, formally a catholic. We are human first and foremost, I am shocked by the racism you have had to deal with. We are all feeling that racism and judgement of Israel since Oct 7th.
I’ve a very similar background as you. Grew up in St.Laurent – Montreal – parents home was in between Catholic and a Protestant schools. I was beaten by a wide variety of groups growing up. In my twenties I moved to Calgary and literally told no one I was Jewish, it was ‘frowned upon’… to say the least. I then moved to Ottawa where it wasn’t a bad thing to be. On to Toronto (the moves were for work) where I lived in a very hasidic area of the city. Very different from anything I’d known before. In the late 80s early 90s – I found out my Dad had Alzheimers and moved back to the home I was born into to help care for both parents (in their 70s). Dad lived until 2005 at 90 years old, Mom passed at 100 years old just a few years back. I found myself not knowing where to live – so I am in a small rental back in St.Laurent. Still feeling like an outsider.
Thank you for this and for your post. So much resonates with my own experience growing up in a largely Jewish community in New Jersey, and my experiences stepping out of that community for summer camp, university and now living in Austin, TX. I too do not look stereotypically Jewish, and have heard racist, anti-Semitic comments from those who thought I was “one of them.” So much sadness. So much cruelty. So much hate.
The prejudice comes from ignorance and generations of indoctrination. It is, unfortunately, pervasive.
A few years ago, I was at a local coffee shop (small town) and some started screaming at me in front of everyone about how “we” were imperialists and mistreating the Palestinians and when “we” were going to give them their country back, etc.
We barely knew each other but she knew I was Jewish. It’s like you are an ambassador for all Jewish people everywhere all at once.
Well written article, by the way.
I was raised Christian. My life experiences and learning have brought me, in my 70’s, to a belief in God but not through any religion. Practicing the Golden Rule as my guide to being humane. As such, your piece was very insightful for me. Thank you. October 7 was, among more significant things, yet another view into the actual hands-on activity of war. Life being destroyed in horrific and inhumane actions by real people who the day before might have met with friends for coffee and a cigarette. Or bounced their own baby on their knee. Or respectfully visited with their grandmothers. Or shouted to the world that their first child had been conceived. How is anyone to understand that? What facet of anyone’s – anyone’s – religion or faith or belief is epitomized here? How does one even begin to put an end to this mindset? The actions are horrific enough, but to then accept that this is a manifestation of anyone’s sense of right and wrong… that it is supported and encouraged by one’s belief in God… is beyond incomprehensible to me. Do you think the world can help Palestinians to vote out Hamas as the governing party in Gaza, and allow the Palestinians and Israelis to meet peacefully?
I’ve read all of the comments from different parts of our world. It’s true! Our hearts beat as one!
I grew up traditional in Toronto,, never thought about my Jewish Identity
Mom was Canadian , dad was an child immigrant from pogroms
In university my roommates were amazed I was Jewish and asked how I was different – I blended in so we’ll – wore the same clothes, ate the same foods, dated the same kind of men
Then I read To Be A Jew by rabbi Donin and it changed my life
I eventually started to keep kosher and Shabbat as it was logical to me . I married Jewish . We sent our kids to Jewish day school – main purpose of that is to equip Jewish children with a strong Jewish identity snd love of Israel and discourage intermarriage
We eventually moved to Israel to join our kids who were already there
My kids say that it’s Israel thst gave them their strongest Jewish identity snd that they would never leave
They are all married and we have 14+ sabra grandchildren
Despite the hatred of Hamas and the outside world , including self hating Jews, and misguided intellects , we feel save here with Am Yisrael & Eretz Yisrael & with the Torah of Yisrael
I was never able to feel the love of my people until being in Israel
Am Yisrael chai
This was a great read and I am glad you had the strength to write it. I am not Jewish but growing up my neighbors were. They invited us to their family gatherings and were very inclusive with us. I never learned hate nor were we told Jews were bad. All that we learned is different ways to celebrate then the way we did. I am very thankful for what I learned and am very supportive of Israel and them defending themselves and doing what is needed to protect themselves. The Jewish people have millennia of being where Israel is and there is no question that should be their homeland. Thank you again for writing this and teaching us all.
Thank you for sharing this. I’m finding it hard to find the words.
This is a post that will remain ever so etched in my memory. Like the Epic and all time relevant Classic “I AM THAT” the holy of the holiest. This was / is A compilation of the talks of Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj, done by Maurice Frydmann that I translated into Hindi. I’m giving just an indirect reference how I can understand by the possible answer to the question : “How do you feel being a Jewish?” Though
I’m a proud Hindu / True Arya, and not the fake one like Hitler.
This post speaks volumes of my sentiments. All the Thanks and best regards. Finally only the Time will tell better.
Regarding the author wanting to go back and answer differently –
Thank you for writing this powerful article.
My own horns and tail have always been present, and are completely there, whether anyone sees them or not, and i have become profoundly proud of them especially now that they’ve been hunted down by Hamas, and seemingly most of the world. Everyone must know, even if they’re stupid, that they too have them, every human has them, but mine happen to be Jewish. Thank you for writing so eloquently, and sharing this hardship for most of us Jews/Israelis so accurately. I doubt broad change will happen with regard to the hate of Jews, but maybe just maybe a few will think differently, and the affect will grow, and the growth will be sustained. One attainable goal and wish is that terrorist organizations and extremists will be looked at differently, will not be accepted, and even be made unlawful and illegal, certainly on a public level, and this will come to be real only if the world understands that hate crimes are hardly only about the Jews, that they are everyone’s problem. now and forever.
Thank you for your article; you masterful expressed our reality, and the reality of Jews probably since the advent of Christianity as an Imperial religion in Rome on the 4th century CE and the subsequent brainwash of the Church. What changed greatly is the speed in which the transmission occurs and the influence of Islamic extremism. Antisemitism or Anti-Judaism is a privilege the non Jews (and some Jew-ish) have in order to blame someone else for their mistakes or misfortunes and to displace their responsibilities. It’s really difficult to explain and/or fight this irrational tendency.
Thank you for writing and sharing this truly insightful and well written piece. It so reflects my experiences here in the UK and so many of those close to me here too. I have shared it on my Facebook page as I feel it we’ll help many others too
I grew up Jewish but have never experienced most of what the author described. Maybe one time, some others expressed surprise I was Jewish because I didn’t fit the stereotype. Perhaps, I don’t feel victimized because as an adult, I identify both as Unitarian and Jewish. I thin that the killing of anyone for their religion, regardless what that religion is, is a terrible thing.
I grew up in a small city in Canada where we had many cultures. During the late forties, families were big. We supported all cultures. We respected families. The only complaint I remember is a lot of stores were closed on Wednesday pm. We accepted this and carried on, even though most of us knew it was a Jewish holy day like Sunday was a holy day. My parents never said any offensive comments. We lived together in peace. Sydney, Cape Breton NS Canada. When my dad passed away a friend planted a tree in his honour in Israel. Hope it’s still there.🕊❤
Thanks for your comment and support. It is very much appreciated. Did you mean Friday night? Wednesday is not a weekly Jewish holiday.
Thanks for this beautifully written, well researched sad story, Rich.
Just wanted to show another kind of tragic perspective here.
We immigrated from Ukraine many years ago. I don’t know how to measure a level of antisemitism but let’s stick to math here and estimate that in percentages it was high 90s. Teachers had a list of all the students in their class where they marked each class’ attendance. That list showed that you are jewish. You were told by most of your classmates that you are a dirty jew. Universities would not accept jews in major cities and so on.
When we immigrated to Canada, although the hope was that we would never see antisemitism again, it became apparent that it exists everywhere to some extent but much more hidden and not as wide spread as we are used to. It was a positive trend for us.
After October 7th, all the delusions disappeared….
Very well stated and relevant for most of us and our families. I fought 2 kids (former friends) at recess in 5th grade who called me a dirty Jew and told me I was going to hell. I didn’t lose the fight but got paddled by the principal as punishment for whatever reason. Some non-Jewish friends made an example of one of these kids which I’m sure he will never forget. Just one of so many ugly or awkward anti-Semitic incidents I’ve experienced. Hard to believe this just never goes away and just seems to cycle from bad to worse over and over again.
Hey Rich – I’m also Canadian, from Northern Ontario, and my best friend is a Jew, but non practicing and was raised Catholic. We both live in the US. A couple of weeks ago, because I was afraid for him in today’s climate, I told him to be sure he kept his gun with him. He’s a concealed carry holder in FL, where it’s legal.
Last week, in Daytona, he got caught up while driving in a pro Palestine demonstration. He made the mistake of giving the protestors the finger and five of them attacked his car, pounding on it, yelling and screaming. He pulled his gun to protect himself, and the police broke it up quickly, thank God.
Rich, I can’t imagine people stupid enough to ask you those questions you brought up, stupid enough to believe that a human being could have horns and a tail. These are sick, stupid people and, I hope, not representative of Canadians, but your comments concern me.
I do wish there were something I could do to help other than tell you I support you and your people.